"Did I ever tell you about how Grandpa would stop and pet every animal he saw, even if he was in a rush? Over?" "You've told me a googolplex times. Over." "Oh. And what about how his hands were so rough and red from all of his sculptures that sometimes I joked to him that it was really the sculptures that were sculpting his hands? Over." "That, too. But you can tell me again if you want. Over." She told me again." (Page 72)
I think that it is very interesting how the book has not explained if the grandfather simply did not like to talk, or if he was unable to. He shares that he wasn't in love with her, However, he was still in love with her sister, Anna,\. The reason he married her was to get closer to Anna.. I am also curious as to why the grandfather left his wife, Oskar's grandmother, with the child and no explanation for why he was leaving. It seems that maybe he will try to go find Anna or try to live another life.
I think that the Grandfather is kind of an ass. He left his pregnant, almost blind wife, without even telling her. His motivation was that he could do better. Who would do that?
in addition to the comment above, i agree, but at the same time disagree because yeah, he shouldn't of put himself in the situation if he couldn't handle being married, but at the same time you have to feel sorry for him because he lost everything and so did the grandmother, making them a perfect match because their reaction to the tragedies and them both loosing the same thing can help the situation, and even though he left, it least he didn't tell her he loved her or lead her on. He maybe thought he was dragging her down and needed time to cope with everything.
This a rather far-fetched answer to that question, but I believe it showed earlier in the book, it showed that the grandfather his a very selfish person. Not through his actions, but through his loss of words. I couldn't quite tell the order in which he lost his words, but there are two things that this could mean. One of which I realized right now, as it happens.
1) I have clinical depression, and there is definitely a feeling of losing your words when you fall into a stage of extreme sadness. This is just the first thing that I thought of, and it probably has nothing to do with anything. But you know, that feeling of losing the words you can't control anymore, nouns and actions and even yes and no. Eventually the only word you can control is "I". You can always control yourself. But eventually you can lose that, and sometimes the only way to get it all back is to find someone who will let you.
2) And the other theory, of course, is that the guy is just selfish as hell, and that he stopped caring about anything besides himself, therefore losing all thoughts, all words, besides "I", besides himself.
The grandmother wrote to him, when she discovered he couldn't talk "Please marry me" and going through all the phrases he had previously written, he tried to find an excuse to not marry her. She kept returning to this question, though, until he finally said to her "Help"
Maybe she helped him as much as he wanted. He got his words back... So he leaves.
"So many rules, sometimes I can't remember what's a rule and what isn't, if anything we do is for its own sake, I'm leaving her today, is that the rule we've been organizing ourselves around this whole time or am I about to break the organizing rule?"(Pg. 108)
I think the grandfather loves his wife. This isn't supported by the fact that he leaves, of course, and he obviously still loves Anna, but he leaves primarily because his whole world is full of rules and regulations, and he doesn't want to live like that. I don't know, it seems to me he never talks about her in a cold manner, he never acts like he particularly wants to leave, he just knows he has to.
Search and Oskar's Grandfather are linked because he leaves the mother in search of what he believes will be a better life for him.
"Your mother and I never talk about the past, that's a rule. I go to the door when she's using the bathroom, and she never looks over my shoulder when I'm writing, those are two more rules. I open doors for her but I never touch her back as she passes through, she never lets me watch her cook, she folds my pants..."(pg. 108) I would hate to live a life like that. Everything based around rules to where nothing seems free anymore. That, to me, just doesn't seem like the way life is supposed to be lived. It sucks that he couldn't find Anna instead of her sister, because then i believe that he would truly be happy.
" Every time I put in a new page, I look at your grandfather. I am so relieved to see his face. It makes me feel safe. His shoulders are pinched. His spine is curved. In Dresden he was a giant." (174)
This quote is the Grandma describing Oskar's Grandfather and she is stating how comfortable she was with him and how much she misses him and his presence.
I thinks the Grandpa left when he did for two reasons. #1 is that, the Grandma broke the main rule.#2 is that if he stayed for the birth of his Son, he would have to stay with him. If he left before his birth because that way the boy would learn to live not knowing him.
"I wrote my name in blue pen and in green oil stick, in orange crayon and in charcoal, it felt like I was signing the contract of my life" (274) . Turns out that instead of Oskar's Dad signing the books at the art store, it was his grandfather. He was the one who had signed the name "Thomas Schell" in each booklet.
"I wrote, 'They're letters to my son. I wasn't able to send them to him while he was alive. Now he's dead. I don't speak. I'm sorry.'" (268)
"WHY I'M NOT WHREE YOU ARE
9/11/03
I don't speak, I'm sorry.
My name is Thomas.
I'm Sorry.
(Picture of a doorknob)
I'm still sorry."(260-266)
This shows the pages of the book Oskar's grandfather wrote in to answer Oskars questions.
Oskar's grand father is very similar to Oskar in a lot of different ways their view on the world, memories they hold with them of the people they loved and knew which eventually became lost. The difference being his grand father somewhat gave up creating nothing places but Oskar was driven to not lose sight of his father. There are many themes in the book of jumbling of things such as with the letter the grandfather wrote, the jumbling of words. The birds hitting the towers. The summarizing of others with the ones who were lost to 9/11. "dog lover, janitor, only child, entrepreneur, waitress."(273)
This summary of people has come up a few times before in the book such as with the 103 year old man and the cards he kept of people and with Oskar's business card.
Just to clarify a couple of things about the grandfather. I disagree with the theory of him being selfish. When He lost Anna in the Dresden bombing, he also lost his unborn child which Anna was preagnant with. Also, during the bombing a series of images plauges him such as burning bodies and people looking for their lost family. He lost everything that night. This definately contributed to his loss of words. And to try to explain why he left. When he agreed to marry Oskar's grandfather he wrote, "No children." (p. 85) When Oskar's grandmother got preagnant, the grandfather was so worried of losing his child again. He couldn't go through that pain again. He also wanted his son not to grow up like him. I think the grandfather made some mistakes but after all he went through; I don't believe he is selfish.